When my son was just one year old, he was diagnosed with cancer. This news shook us. I was nearing completion of my seminary studies, and we were preparing to move across the world to Ukraine to minister. And now cancer in our little boy! My studies were put on hold, and all we could manage was to focus on the medical care for my son. We literally lived in the hospital for a good part of a few months. They gave him chemotherapy, and his hair fell out. Then they told us it was time for surgery. They would try to remove the tumor. With anxious hearts and prayers, we watched the medical staff wheel him down the long hallway for a surgery that held some significant risks. We had no idea what would happen next.

What did happen next? Well, I’ll save that for later.

You see, there’s something powerful in not finishing a story. In fact, if you study the gospels closely, you’ll soon realize that Jesus often didn’t completely finish his story. He often stopped short in his gospel presentation, waited for a response, which he would carefully use to guide the conversation further. We can find at least three clear examples where Jesus did this.

Nicodemus (John 3:1-18)

When Nicodemus came to Jesus, he did not ask a question. Instead, he simply said,

“We know that you are a teacher who has come from God.” (John 3:2)

Of course, Jesus knew the question lingering in Nicodemus’s mind: How can a person enter the kingdom of God? So Jesus answered the question Nicodemus did not ask but probably wanted to ask. He told him,

“You must be born again.” (John 3:3)

At this point, those of us from evangelical backgrounds might quickly begin explaining exactly what it means to be born again. We might describe all the theological aspects of the new birth, trying to make it as easy as possible to understand and accept.

But Jesus did not do that. He simply told Nicodemus, “You must be born again,” and waited to see how he would respond. Jesus wanted this statement to strike Nicodemus deeply. He left certain questions unanswered so that Nicodemus would search beyond the commonly accepted religious ideas of his day.

And it worked. Nicodemus responded.

“How can this be?” (John 3:9)

Only after Nicodemus showed genuine interest and a willingness to listen—after he finally realized that he did not have all the answers—did Jesus begin to explain more carefully what it means to be born again.

The Woman At The Well (John 4:4-26)

When the Samaritan woman comes to Jesus at the well, he immediately engages her in conversation not about the gospel but simply about water. He asks her,

“Will you give me a drink?” (John 4:7)

Jesus knew that this simple request would stir curiosity and invite further investigation from the woman. Her response was immediate,

“You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?” (John 4:9).

Now Jesus had an opening, a perfect opportunity to share the gospel with her. Most likely if that had been you or me we would have quickly told her about God’s love and how everyone is equal in God’s sight and how the gospel allows us even to come God’s throne boldly because of what Christ has done for us. Well, that’s all correct but notice how Jesus still doesn’t give her everything at once; instead, he stops short.

“Jesus answered her, ‘If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.’"

No explanation, just a simple statement and then a pause. Jesus was patient and kind and he knew his statement would evoke a response from the woman. Their conversation went from water to worship, to past husbands, to the Messiah. It’s not until the final verse in this conversation that Jesus reveals,

“I, the one speaking to you—I am he.” (John 4:26)

The Rich Young Ruler (Mark 10:17-22)

In this example, it appears that Jesus gives the man heretical advice. He tells him to follow all the commandments and when the man responds saying that he has followed all the commandments since youth, Jesus tells him to,

“Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven” (Mark 10:21).

When the man hears this he is sad,

“At this the man's face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth.” (Mark 10:22)

This does not seem to be the gospel at all. The gospel is about Jesus doing it for us, about Jesus fulfilling the law so we don’t have to. Yet, here is Jesus telling this man that if he wants to go to heaven, he has to keep the law and sell all his possessions! Wouldn’t it have been better for Jesus to tell the man from the start that he doesn’t need to do anything, that he simply needs to trust in Jesus and his sins will be forgiven?

In this case, that was not the best solution. The main problem was that it appeared that the man did not think he had any significant sins that needed to be forgiven. Before Jesus could share the gospel in detail, he needed to get the man to the place where he could recognize his own sin. Jesus did this by confronting him with the reality that he could not live up to the demands of the law. He then waited for the response. Unfortunately, this man chose to leave rather than pursue the truth of Jesus Christ.

Slow down and pause

Could it be that some people don’t “accept” the gospel because we give them too much too fast? We don’t allow them to come to terms with their own sin, with their inability to save themselves, and with the reality of who Christ is? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that we should never share all the gospel. What we see in Jesus example is that we need to move forward carefully and with purpose in our gospel message. We need to slow down, pause and wait for responses. We need to give them nuggets of truth that invite a response. We need to make them ask for more.

What happened to my son?

Well, if you’ve hung out until now, then you deserve to hear the rest of the story about my son. By God’s grace, the operation was successful. They removed a large tumor, and several months later, they tested for signs of cancer and found none. As of the time of the writing of this article, he’s 24 years old and very healthy. We praise God for healing him through the hands of skilled doctors and nurses!